Becoming Unbound™ with Dr. Nakiba Starr

The Unbound Letter

A Weekly Letter for People Doing the Work

Issue 13

I Don't Have to Perform Competence

Dear Unbound Friend,

This past week has been one of those weeks where I can hardly remember it all. I started off celebrating birthdays and anniversaries that, by the end of the week, already felt like ages ago. Tuesday, I planned to lay low and ended up doing an impromptu Live with my family and a new friend instead. That was surreal.

Going back to work, I sat in a meeting as a VIP with other companies' VIPs, and that felt natural. Friday, I spent time at the game, watching and recording the band as a booster leader, then watched my daughter cheer at her first home game.

In between all of that, I decided to start organizing some of my assets — working on my brand, just creating. And organizing made me realize just how many versions of the same or similar ideas I've created along the way. I was making use of whatever time I had, multitasking — which I strongly dislike as a term, because sometimes I just want to do one thing at a time.

Not Performing, Just Me

I Didn't Need to Be Ready — I Needed to Trust Myself

Somewhere in the middle of all of this, I realized something.

I showed up. Not as some perfectly prepared version of myself. Not performing. Not trying to have every answer before somebody asked the question. Just me.

And apparently, I'm pretty capable when I let myself be.

That's funny, because this week's Freedom Friday was about planning. I said planning doesn't have to be perfect — you just need enough of a plan to start. But this week showed me something underneath even that.

Sometimes all my preparing isn't preparation. Sometimes it's a stalling tactic. Because if I can convince myself I need to know more, organize more, anticipate more, or get a little more ready, I can postpone the part that actually scares me: trusting myself in the moment.

And maybe that's what I'm learning.

I don't have to know everything. If someone asks me something I don't know, I can say, "I don't know." I don't have to perform competence. I can trust the competence I've already built.

A friend of mine posted something this week that confirmed it: "You don't know, what you don't know." It's okay to admit that. I don't have to pretend.

A Spirit Not of Fear

Because becoming unbound doesn't mean fear disappears. It means fear no longer gets to decide how much preparation is enough, when I'm ready, or whether I move.

Every time I REVERSE Fear, I give myself a little more freedom to become unbound.

So as I end this letter, I want to remind you: it's okay to plan. Just don't let the plan stall you to the point of perfection paralysis.

Plan enough to move. Then trust yourself with what happens next.

#REVERSEFEAR

Freedom, Confidence, and Consistency,
Dr. Nakiba

Becoming Unbound™ with Dr. Nakiba Starr

unbound.nakibastarr.com  ·  YouTube: Unbound with Dr. Nakiba  ·  @DrNakibaStarr

"As I think, so shall I be."